This dilemma was deceptively tricky...

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The Dilemma

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You have been working with a client for around 18 months, a few months into your work with them, you lent them an expensive book that is also fairly hard to find. You were happy to lend it as you felt sure they would be respectful enough to bring it back.  They have mentioned it a few times and said they will bring it back soon so you haven't actively chased them for it.

 

It has now reached the very last session and you felt sure that they would bring the book back on the final session together, however they turned up empty handed. You are aware that as you are working with them for the final time you are feeling that they have disrespected you by not returning it.

 

What would you do?

 

1) Say nothing and accept that you are not going to get it back, decide that you won't lend any more books out.

 

2) Tell them that you are aware that they still have the book and ask them to return it to you by post as it seems they have forgotten to return it. This doesn't feel comfortable as it means there will be further contact once the final session is over, this leaves the ending not as clear cut as you would like.

 

3) Wait until you send them their final invoice for payment and add the value of the book to the invoice.

 

4) Be congruent and tell them you feel a little disrespected by them not returning the book, but acknowledge that you also didn't remind them. Explore what it feels like for someone else to feel disrespected by their actions.

 

The results of the survey gave a three-way split with no-one deciding that an invoice was a good idea!  It feels like there is a real sense for a lot of therapists that we cannot do anything to risk a rupture at the end of the work.  Is this because there isn’t time for repair?

 

 

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